The process of grinding eggshells to dust is a representation of healing from emotional abuse as a child and becoming strong and able in my life now. This conceptual piece began after I started collecting eggshells for no other reason than following an urge to do so. As they started to accumulate, I thought of the expression, ‘walking on eggshells’. I grew up ‘walking on eggshells’ because my father is emotionally unstable. I never knew when a tornado of rage would blast through the house, who would be caught in the storm and what would be left in the aftermath. When I grew up relationships outside of the family also became like ‘walking on eggshells’. I didn’t know who to trust or even how to trust. The unpredictability of emotional turmoil left me unmoored.
I had the idea to use a mortar and pestle to grind the shells into dust. The process is satisfying even though neck stiffness and a few blisters occurred. The crushed shells represent that I am no longer at the mercy of my father’s emotional toxicity. I have worked hard to heal and build a safe and loving home for myself and my family.
Finding a receptacle worthy of the ground down eggshells took some time. I put them in a few different containers before my eyes fell upon mason jars one day. Mason jars brought back the memory of fall on the farm. So much canning needed to be done if we were to survive the ‘end of the world’ as my dad often talked about. There were many perceptions like this that kept me so frightened as a child.
To finish the piece, I used the dry canning technique to seal the eggshells in the jar.
